Her PDF “Defining the Brain System of Lust, Romantic Attraction and Attachment [jump to link here]
A good read “Separating Lust and Love” [jump to link]
Here is a title in the Metro:
TOWIE’s Gemma Collins hoping for holiday romance in I’m A Celebrity 2014 jungle
Newly single Gemma Collins admits she is using the I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! jungle to escape from her troubles at home after she was allegedly beaten up by her boyfriend.
The TOWIE star, who landed in Australia last night, says she is hoping for a ‘holiday romance’ in the Outback after her weekend split from ex-convict boyfriend Alexander Moss.
Here is How Stuff Works
Types/Stages of Love: Lust and Attraction
There are three distinct types or stages of “love”:
- Lust, or erotic passion
- Attraction, or romantic passion
- Attachment, or commitment
When all three of these happen with the same person, you have a very strong bond. Sometimes, however, the one we lust after isn’t the one we’re actually in love with.
LustWhen we’re teenagers, just after puberty, estrogen and testosterone become active in our bodies for the first time and create the desire to experience “love.” These desires, a.k.a. lust, play a big role both during puberty and throughout our lives. According to an article by Lisa Diamond, entitled “Love and Sexual Desire” (Current Directions in Psychological Science, vol 13 no. 3), lust and romantic love are two different things caused by different underlying substrates. Lust evolved for the purpose of sexual mating, while romantic love evolved because of the need for infant/child bonding. So even though we often experience lust for our romantic partner, sometimes we don’t — and that’s okay. Or, maybe we do, but we also lust after someone else. According to Dr. Diamond, that’s normal.
Sexologist John Money draws the line between love and lust in this way: “Love exists above the belt, lust below. Love is lyrical. Lust is lewd.”
Pheromones, looks and our own learned predispositions for what we look for in a mate play an important role in whom we lust after, as well. Without lust, we might never find that special someone. But, while lust keeps us “looking around,” it is our desire for romance that leads us to attraction.
AttractionWhile the initial feelings may (or may not) come from lust, what happens next — if the relationship is to progress — is attraction. When attraction, or romantic passion, comes into play, we often lose our ability to think rationally — at least when it comes to the object of our attraction. The old saying “love is blind” is really accurate in this stage. We are often oblivious to any flaws our partner might have. We idealize them and can’t get them off our minds. This overwhelming preoccupation and drive is part of our biology. We’ll go deeper into the chemicals involved in attraction in The Chemistry of Love.
In this stage, couples spend many hours getting to know each other. If this attraction remains strong and is felt by both of them, then they usually enter the third stage: attachment.