Is Romance a Euphamism for Lust or is it good old Courtship?

Helen Fisher the Biological Anthropologist

Her PDF “Defining the Brain System of Lust, Romantic Attraction and Attachment [jump to link here]

A good read “Separating Lust and Love” [jump to link]

Here is a title in the Metro: 

TOWIE’s Gemma Collins hoping for holiday romance in I’m A Celebrity 2014 jungle

Newly single Gemma Collins admits she is using the I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! jungle to escape from her troubles at home after she was allegedly beaten up by her boyfriend.
The TOWIE star, who landed in Australia last night, says she is hoping for a ‘holiday romance’ in the Outback after her weekend split from ex-convict boyfriend Alexander Moss.

Here is How Stuff Works

Types/Stages of Love: Lust and Attraction

There are three distinct types or stages of “love”:

  1. Lust, or erotic passion
  2. Attraction, or romantic passion
  3. Attachment, or commitment

When all three of these happen with the same person, you have a very strong bond. Sometimes, however, the one we lust after isn’t the one we’re actually in love with.

LustWhen we’re teenagers, just after puberty, estrogen and testosterone become active in our bodies for the first time and create the desire to experience “love.” These desires, a.k.a. lust, play a big role both during puberty and throughout our lives. According to an article by Lisa Diamond, entitled “Love and Sexual Desire” (Current Directions in Psychological Science, vol 13 no. 3), lust and romantic love are two different things caused by different underlying substrates. Lust evolved for the purpose of sexual mating, while romantic love evolved because of the need for infant/child bonding. So even though we often experience lust for our romantic partner, sometimes we don’t — and that’s okay. Or, maybe we do, but we also lust after someone else. According to Dr. Diamond, that’s normal.

Sexologist John Money draws the line between love and lust in this way: “Love exists above the belt, lust below. Love is lyrical. Lust is lewd.”

Pheromones, looks and our own learned predispositions for what we look for in a mate play an important role in whom we lust after, as well. Without lust, we might never find that special someone. But, while lust keeps us “looking around,” it is our desire for romance that leads us to attraction.

AttractionWhile the initial feelings may (or may not) come from lust, what happens next — if the relationship is to progress — is attraction. When attraction, or romantic passion, comes into play, we often lose our ability to think rationally — at least when it comes to the object of our attraction. The old saying “love is blind” is really accurate in this stage. We are often oblivious to any flaws our partner might have. We idealize them and can’t get them off our minds. This overwhelming preoccupation and drive is part of our biology. We’ll go deeper into the chemicals involved in attraction in The Chemistry of Love.

In this stage, couples spend many hours getting to know each other. If this attraction remains strong and is felt by both of them, then they usually enter the third stage: attachment. The Romance of Lust


What if love was just genetic glue for coupledom?

Wrote the above as a comment to LOVE; A Mystery Finally Solved [read it] 

by theeclecticsource

Btw Ecclectic I did enjoy your post.  Thank you. The last line is lovely “Love is a knowing”

I should also Thank Ecclectic ever so much, for lancing this gargantuan burden that’s been growing on me.  To put into words the thoughts brought on after too many Tequilas and eating cheese late at night.  And for making me put pen to paper, metaphorically speaking of course, and revive my blog abandoned many seasons ago.

img courtesy

That thought begins with; What if….

Let’s take this slowly.  I’m not saying I don’t believe in Love.  Perhaps a love agnostic!

Let’s turn this Rubik’s cube of love upside down and puzzle over it.

Like if you were walking, stop right there and without moving your shoulders take a look at your bum.  Because we take it so much for granted, love that is, and the bum as well!

We could start by saying; Love does not exist and try to prove it that way. But that would be a bit like driving backwards from the conclusion.

In the beginning man meets woman in the nude.  Of course, saves time I suppose! Seriously.

Shamelessly copied here from Cosmos magazine to reinforce my drifting “what if…”

Boy meets girl and the chemistry is explosive. Their eyes lock, their heartbeats race, everyone else in the room just melts away. But far from being some weird, mystical force, sexual attraction is actually quite prosaic.

It’s the product of millions of years of evolution all focussed on one idea: successfully passing your genes on to the next generation. And the whole dating scene is really just people assessing the reproductive potential of prospective mates.

Humans have evolved a plethora of ways to advertise their reproductive value – from chiselled jaws and permanently enlarged mammary glands to complex odours and a raucous sense of humour. The right combination of these features in the right person add together to give you that funny feeling in your stomach we hear so much about.

Good article as articles go!

What if it was just genetics at work?

The glue that bonds the couple and we conveniently give a title: LOVE

How can anyone fall out of love? But we do

Indian Human Rights Commission to Sonia Gandhi on Scarlett Keeling Assault & Death

Powerful voices are being added to Fiona MacKeown’s dogged persistence in uncovering the tragic death of her 15 year old daughter at a bar, “Lui’s Shack”, in sleepy Anjuna beach, Goa. The bar has since been hastily removed from the beach destroying all forensic evidence along with it. All that remain are stumps in the beach sand.

How can anyone be so stupid, when there is ample photographic and video footage in just about every newsroom across the globe.

Fiona Mckeown has shown remarkable composure and resilience in the aftermath of the tragic and possibly violent death of a young woman. It is the quiet confidence that has rattled the authorities and although some quarters have tried to tarnish her character, or question her ability as a parent, including myself. One has to admire this woman who has had her quiet little existence, in the simplest of shelters, brought to public scrutiny. Fiona cannot alter the fact that every little element of her life will be scrutinised, examined and critiqued upon and going by how she has managed to raise up above the criticisms, is to her enduring credit

Fiona who is due to arrive back in the UK tomorrow is seeking assistance from Scotland Yard. The Indian National Commission for Women will investigate Scarlett’s death, an organisation that promotes and protects the interests of women in India, dealing with issues including rape. BBC News

One of the reasons perhaps, and about time too, that the Human Rights Commission is showing concern, is because till now India has been portrayed as the new growth sector on the global market, whilst ignoring the seedier side of life in Goa, that has always been prevalent and growing exponentially through current Russian and Islraeli influence.

According to a retired police officer, who did not wish to be named, “Anjuna (A), Baga (B) and Calangute (C) sums up ABC of Goa’s drug trade. Crackdown on these places can solve a major irritation”.

A cross junction in this village, popularly known as Starco, is a meeting point for the tourists seeking drugs. Reports The Hindu News

Pragmatic Parent, Pompous Pratt or Prophetic Purifier

In the centre of a horrific death of a teenager Scarlett Keeling (15yrs) from Devon UK, found semi-naked, raped and ravaged on a beach in Goa, India the hippie paradise of the 60’s. Here stands the mother; Mrs Fiona McKeown answering to the criticisms being thrown at her.

She has managed to challenge the establishment to admit that there may be some Indian rope-trick or smokescreen which is now brought out into the international glare of public domain.

Scarlett Keeling the 15 year old
In a bar, “Lui’s Shack” in sleepy Anjuna beach between 0200 -0400 Hrs (approx) high on cocaine, drinking and being supplied with ecstasy by a local dealer.


The half-clad body of Scarlett was found on Goa’s popular Anjuna beach on February 18. Police have arrested two persons, Carvalho and Samson D’souza, both of whom have allegedly confessed to raping the 15-year-old few hours before she was found dead on the beach, he said, adding that Carvalho has been booked on murder charge.

“A prime suspect Placido Carvalho, who was arrested last night, has confirmed that he gave her drugs, raped her and left her on the beach. As the girl remained unconscious, she died during the high tide,” a senior police officer and in-charge of the investigations told PTI on Thursday morning.
Claiming to have cracked the case of murder of British teenager Scarlette Eden Keeling, the Goa police on Thursday said the 15-year-old died due to “drug overdose and drowning” after a man allegedly gave her narcotics, raped her and left her on the beach.

Hindustan Times

The Mother Mrs Fiona McKeown
The 43-year-old the mother of nine children, from Bideford, Devon who once had a stall in Camden Market.

Courtesy of RudriaRia. Thank you

The Daily Mail gives us a glimpse of the lifestyle Mrs Mckeown and her family lived, no wonder they felt at home in India.

You have to see the images to believe it.

Fiona MacKeown, the mother of Scarlett Keeling, the 15-year-old girl who was raped and murdered in Goa, seems less like a grieving mother than an avenging tigress.

With her swishing curtain of grey hair, Fiona is taking on a corrupt local police force which initially denied that her cub had been the victim of foul play.

“If police had taken more interest in previous [suspicious] deaths, then Scarlett might not be dead now,” growled Fiona.

Maybe so. But isn’t there an even better chance that Scarlett would still be alive if her own mother had not abandoned her for several weeks after an argument and recklessly continued her own holiday?

Instead the blonde teenager, as tempting as a ripe peach, was left in the care of a 25-year-old tour guide – a local man she’d only recently met. (emphasis added)

Reports AllisonPearson of the Daily Mail

Goa the idyllic landscape or a den of iniquity

“Should young girls be allowed to move around alone on a beach at night?” Naik had wondered, even as he blamed the media for “blowing up” the case.

The issue arose from a question posed by Prema Cariappa (Congress) and Sushma Swaraj (Bharatiya Janata Party) on the steps the government had taken to prevent rising crimes against foreign tourists.

Former Maharashtra governor PC Alexander (Independent) said this was not enough.

“This may not result in the right solution. A taskforce is not the same as a police force. If the issue is to be tackled effectively, we need a police force,” he said.

“It is not just a law and order problem. Tourism is of utmost importance to the nation as our prestige is involved. I want an assurance that what will be created is a police taskforce and not one of ex-servicemen,” Alexander added.

HT once again reports

There are a lot of issues here that need to be explored and everyone will have to face up to some harsh truths. TBC

Gang Rape! Men Released? WHY?

A TEN Year old girl consents to physical penetrative sex. WHAT! You must be kidding.

Court transcripts have been released involving a controversial Cape York child rape case.

The documents show prosecutors described the assault as “generally consensual” sex.


Earlier this year, six boys and three men pleaded guilty to the 2005 gang-rape of the then 10-year-old girl in the Indigenous community of Aurukun.

Are you a bit astounded by the decision of this court, or has the little girl’s life have no meaning in that little community.


At all times, we need to be mindful of the relative context. This was after all the indegenous community of Aurkun.

The customs and cultures of the local community should be respected, as well as, the laws of the land. But there rises in us a desire to be critical, as much as we would love to criticize, any fool can and most fools do.
We need to be considerate to the local customs and practices. Yet strive as we might, to remain objective and calm, there comes a point when you just have to raise your voice and condemn this inhumane treatment of a child.

Yes a 10yr old is a child, with all the innocence of a child.

To claim that the act was consensual, beggars belief.

Meanwhile, the Queensland Government says it has learnt from the system failures that led to Child Safety officers returning the girl to Aurukun.

Premier Anna Bligh says the officers made the wrong decision in removing the child from foster care, and sending her back to Aurukun.

But she says action was taken.

“Disciplining the officers involved moving the child and changing and improving our response in Aboriginal communities,” she said.

The Opposition’s Mark McArdle says the case is the latest in a long line of child safety failures.

“These issues continue to occur,” he said.

Queensland’s Attorney-General Kerry Shine is appealing the sentences given to the nine offenders, and the Director of Public Prosecutions, Leanne Clare, is reviewing about 75 similar cases.

Good to know they are coming to terms with their own attitudes and failings.

These officers need training and they need it fast!

“I think in a country where they’re asking the Aboriginal people to trust the system, trust that the right thing will be done to do away with customary law and to focus on protecting children – they didn’t protect this child in this particular, and they took away the face of the Aboriginal community to trust the system.”

The case has had a ripple effect through other Aboriginal communities in the north of the state.



Astounded by that case in Australia? Are you, how about this one? The Qatif Rape Case.

The woman was initially punished for violating laws on segregation of the sexes –
she was in an unrelated man’s car at the time of the attack.
When she appealed, judges doubled her sentence, saying she had been trying
to use the media to influence them.

Her lawyer has been suspended from the case and faces a disciplinary session.

Abdel Rahman al-Lahem told the BBC Arabic Service that the sentence was in violation of Islamic law:
“My client is the victim of this abhorrent crime. I believe her sentence contravenes the Islamic Sharia law
and violates the pertinent international conventions,” he said.
“The judicial bodies should have dealt with this girl as the victim rather than the culprit.”

The lawyer also said that his client would appeal against the decision to increase her punishment.

Segregation laws
According to the Arab News newspaper, the 19-year-old woman was gang-raped
14 times in an attack in Qatif in the eastern province a year-and-a-half ago.

Seven men were found guilty of the rape and sentenced to prison terms
ranging from just under a year to five years.

The victim and attackers are from Saudi Arabia’s Shia minority.

This particular incident has been covered by others and one such is  Hanie
from lifeisonebigstage,  

when she commented on Urbansemiotic 


Prostitution and Human Trafficking

Good News.

UK launches a new initiative.

A unit set up specially to target those active in this field of abuse.

Similarly on the global scene Clare has a lot of info.

LONDON (Reuters) – A new campaign against human trafficking for the sex trade will be launched across the country on Wednesday, police said.

The operation, codenamed Pentameter 2, will target the gang masters who force women and children to work in the sex industry.

It will also aim to help victims and raise public awareness of the problem.

The operation follows a similar four-month project last year after which 134 people were charged with various offences related to trafficking.

Nearly 90 women and girls were rescued from 500 brothels, massage parlours, homes and other premises. About half came from Eastern Europe and the rest from the Far East, Africa and South America.

A permanent unit, the UK Human Trafficking Centre, was set up as a result of the operation, bringing police, prosecutors and officers from the Serious Organised Crime Agency together.

It will target people born in the UK who are sold, moved around and exploited by criminal gangs as well those brought in from abroad for thousands of pounds.

Gloucestershire Chief Constable and spokesman for the Association of Chief Police Officers Dr Tim Brain, said: “The problem is large. It is growing because there are huge profits to be made in the exploitation of young women and young men for sexual purposes.”

“It is morally and legally slavery,” he said.

A telephone information line will be set up to give advice to immigration staff and social workers attempting to identify victims of trafficking.

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